Sale to the Chiefs

Summary


If our presidents knew then what we know now, would they still take the oath of office? More to the point, would they call in sick on Monday and hit the Presidents Day sales with the rest of us, stocking up on sheets, flatware, socks and shoe inserts -- or, in the case of James Madison, some Hostess Twinkies?

Of course they would.

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Extract


Sale to the Chiefs

But because presidents are normally too busy to pen their own shopping lists, we've graciously agreed to take on the task that is not, under any condition, to be taken seriously.

1. What George he' Washington d buy: Fixodent , 1789 and a -1797 toothbrush; a mug with "World's Best U.S. President" logo. Why? With only one remaining tooth at the time of his inauguration, Washington wore dentures made of human (some his own), cow and hippopotamus teeth. The wooden teeth story is just an ugly rumor. As for the mug, he was at the time -- and consistently rates at or near the top o...

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